Tony says, laughing, “Teens won’t think to themselves, ‘How can I make this adult feel comfortable with me?’  They will initiate at least somewhat later in the relationship when they get to know you, but initially, it’s up to you, the adult, to start the conversation and relationship.”


Authenticity is it
So, let’s say you’re a bit shy, not a go-getter, but you have a love for teenagers.  Your chances of being effective with kids are slim, right?  Not so, says Tony.  “You will succeed if you take the way God has designed you and work it.”

For example, a timid person often operates better behind the scenes, Tony points out, and engages with young people who are not engaged.  He or she might spot that student against the back wall who is distancing herself physically or emotionally from the crowd.   Maybe she has an issue she can’t shake or has experienced a rough time at the event. 

Later, the adult volunteer might call the teen and poke around at what the trouble might be.  That’s initiative.  That’s timing.  Timing matters to a student who is depressed or out of control.  A well-timed contact at those moments can be valuable.

“Timing is important,” Tony says, “but authenticity is even more important.  An adult volunteer might say the wrong thing at the wrong time but if students know and trust that volunteer, they will accept him and write off the comment as just his style.  They sense authenticity; they smell phoniness.”
Where do youth leaders come from? Who are these youth volunteers and where does Tony find them?  But, first, how many of them are there? 

Interestingly, in response to our survey on the church website, 73% think the number of volunteers who work with the WSEFC senior and junior high youth is 17 or fewer.  The real answer is 57:  37 senior high workers, 20 for the junior high.  That’s because between 180-190 senior higher regularly attend church events, with about 70 or more junior high kids involved.  That’s a lot of potential fun and learning that require supervision and love.

“We have a very diverse, solid group of leaders,” notes Tony.  “We have leaders who are parents of teenagers, who bring certain life experiences to bear on our young people.  Those folks are consistent year in and year out.  And we also have a talented batch of younger leaders who deliver magnetism to a room of teens. I try to match up younger volunteers with older ones to blend energy with maturity. That’s good for the teens to see, and good for the growth of the volunteers.”
 
Older leaders need apply
We had to ask:  Is there an age when volunteers tend to lose their effectiveness with youth?

Tony replied, “It’s not if you’re effective, it’s how you’re effective as you age.  I see it in myself.  I get much more time with parents now.  When I was in my 20s, they weren’t coming to me for advice.”  He smiles broadly.   “Now that I’m getting close to the age of parents,” he admits,  “and I have experience, they see me as an advocate and advisor regarding their kids.”

“Older leaders, like Rob and Cindy Ebner, have as much impact on kids as they did eight years ago.  They know how to engage the kids, and kids really respond to them.” 

If there is a drop-off, it’s in regard to season of life.  Tony gets young leaders for a couple of years who then get married and have children, and they step out for a number of years.   “They’ll come back around when their own kids are teenagers.” 

What's the commitment?
Say I want to sign up for no more than a year, we said to Tony.  Will that commitment work for the program? 

“I might pause and try to find out what’s behind your putting a limit on your commitment,” he responds.  “However, there are times when circumstances make a one-year commitment workable.  For example, Tim Morgan (Tim the comedian extraordinaire!) said he planned to be in the area only a year and would like to help.  I knew that his life had been changed by a speaker at a winter high school retreat.  He would provide valuable interaction to young people even if he couldn’t extend beyond the year.  I said, come, do it.”

Here’s what really happens with commitment.   A volunteer leader signs up for one year and gets assigned to a small group.  Then it’s too late.  You get hooked on kids – your kids.  Sometime, that commitment runs throughout the group’s high school years.  Actually, the average tenure of a youth volunteer at West Shore is about five years.  The Ebners, for example, are into their third small group.  Still, we all know life changes, so Tony assumes volunteers will be involved only from year to year.

Is it difficult to get youth volunteers in this church?  Females, no; males, yes, says Tony.   “We’re at least one male leader short for the senior high team – and that’s been true since I’ve been with West Shore.   Women see and feel the need for relationships more quickly.  Men, however, ask why?  Men who were spiritually shaped in their youth by an adult male understand the importance of relationships.  They know that working with teens can be messy, but, then again, so is much in life … like their jobs.”